Book Notes: His Only Wife, by Peace Adzo Medie

Publisher : Algonquin Books (2020)

ISBN-13 :978-1616209155

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐

Summary

Afi Tekple, a poor, beautiful 21-year old Ghanaian seamstress living in small town Ho, is married off to Elikem Ganyo, the middle son of the wealthy and prosperous Ganyo family. Eli, Afi’s new husband, is young, tall, handsome, and an extremely wealthy businessman. Nonetheless, the two barely know each other, and the marriage is arranged between the two families to solve a problem. Eli is infatuated and living with another woman, and Afi’s marriage is arranged so that she can win Eli over and bring him back into the family fold. In Ghana, polygamous marriage is a legal and socially accepted practice. As Afi and Elikem’s arrangement unfolds, will their marriage be enough to survive his divided attentions? What is the proper role of a woman and a wife in a traditionally patriarchal culture that is experiencing rapid societal change?

Characters

Afi Tekple/ Afi Ganyo

At age 21, Afi is a beautiful, but poor, apprentice seamstress chosen to marry Eli Ganyo. After her marriage to Eli, she moves to Accra, where she studies fashion design and ultimately, with Eli’s help, opens her own clothes studio. She and Eli have a young son, Selorm.

Elikem Ganyo

Afi’s husband and a wealthy businessman. He is also in a serious relationship with Muna, a Liberian woman his family disapproves off. He has a young daughter, Lily, with Muna. His family arranges his marriage to Afi in the hopes he will tire of his relationship with Muna. He is his mother’s favorite child.

Aunty Faustina Ganyo

Eli’s mother, a wealthy businesswoman. She is Afi and her mother’s beneficiary. After Afi’s father’s death in 2004, Aunty provides Afi and her mother with a roof and job, rescuing them from a life of poverty and destitution. Aunty is charitable and generous, yet highly controlling and transactional. She is highly involved in her children’s lives, and seeks to control them and their choices, especially their relationships.

Afinɔ Tekple

Afi’s mother. She agrees to marry Afi off to Elikem, in order to repay Aunty’s kindness to her, and for Afi and her family to benefit from being related to such a wealthy family.

Tɔgã Pious

Afi’s uncle. He is Afi’s father’s older brother, and the nominal head of her extended family. He is selfish and greedy. He doesn’t assist Afi and her mother after the death of Afi’s father. He is constantly seeking to receive gifts and money from others, and seeks to benefit from his relationship through marriage with the wealthy Ganyo’s. Pious has three wives and over 11 children, whom he maltreats and seeks to offload their care to others.

Mawusi

Afi’s cousin. She is the daughter of Tɔgã Pious and Daavi Christy. She is in her third year at the University of Cape Coast studying for a degree in communications. She later marries Yao.

Fred Ganyo

Eli’s younger brother. He is married to Cecilia and has two teenage daughters.

Richard Ganyo

Eli’s older brother. He is in a relationship with Evelyn, a woman his mother disapproves of.

Evelyn

Fred’s girlfriend and Afi’s neighbor. She works in an advertising agency, and also owns a cement-producing factory. She becomes good friends with Afi. Modern and liberated, Evelyn is brash, gossipy, and open-hearted. While she professes a casual relationship with Fred, she does love him and is hurt by his mother’s disapproval of her, and her invisible status with his family.

Yaya Ganyo

She is the youngest and only girl among Aunty’s children. She is very sophisticated, but also very similar to her mother in temperament.

Muna

She goes unnamed throughout most of the book, often simply called The Woman or The Liberian Woman. She is working as a secretary for a Lebanese hardware wholesaler in Liberia, which is where she meets Eli. They later move back to Eli’s home in Accra, Ghana so he can be closer to his family and business. Eli and Muna have a daughter, Lily, who is often sick.

Analysis

“Elikem married me in absentia; he did not come to our wedding.” (2)

His Only Wife (2020) by Peace Adzo Medie is set in Ghana, where polygamy is legal and socially accepted. And, when Elikem Ganyo, Afi’s husband is too busy to attend his own traditional marriage ceremony (he sends his older brother to stand in as a surrogate groom), it is a sign that Eli might not be fully committing to their arranged marriage. “…I had never heard of a man missing his wedding because of a business trip. What kind of business keeps a man away from his own wedding?” (12)

I am originally from Ghana, so it’s compelling to see our traditional practices interrogated. Growing up, I never thought much of our polygamous traditions. I was used to men with second, third, fourth or more wives. It was simply something that existed, like the air you breathe.

Nonetheless, there has been a societal change in modern expectations about marriage. Younger adults are now more likely to marry for love, and there is less willingness to be in a polygamous marriage. Afi is part of a younger generation of Ghanaians, one that is more influenced by modern notions of marriage as being based on romantic love. Her mother and Aunty are part of an older generation, from a time where marriage was more about practicality, and for women, financial security. Afi receives advice from them, “Because you’re in love with him? Please, put love aside and be practical. Love will not put food on the table; it won’t hold you at night.” (144)

Unlike most of her family and friends, Afi doesn’t want to accept a marriage in which she is second best. She wants to be her husband’s only wife, and not just one out of two, or even the first one. Afi wants to be the only and true love of her husband’s life, and she is unwilling to settle for less, no matter the wealth and prestige she accrues from her marriage.

His Only Wife strives to answer the question of what is acceptable to tolerate in one’s marriage? What does it mean to be a wife, someone’s wife? What must one accept in a marriage? What is the meaning and purpose of marriage? Is it to guarantee financial safety and security, or should it be a relationship based on mutual love and romance? What price must one pay in exchange for favors bestowed? How much is enough? What does it mean to be chosen? How does it feel to live in a country experiencing rapid societal change, one in which the old ways might not be sufficient for the younger generation?

There are also some interesting gender dynamics. Although Aunty is wealthy and a savvy businesswoman, she exerts significant control over her sons and their relationships. At the same time, Aunty believes that men should be the heads of their households and financial providers, and retain authority over their wives, while the women should submit to their husband’s wishes and bear children. She insists on traditional gender roles for her children, despite the fact that she herself subverts this notion, to a certain extent.

There’s also the notion that men are entitled to fulfil their desires, while women are expected to submit to those desires and choices. Afi herself observes, “…Eli just wants to have his cake and eat it. He thinks he should be free to accumulate as many cars and houses and women as he wants. He never intended to leave that woman and you all knew it, but you led me to believe that it was just a matter of time.”  (223) She questions this male privilege, and wonders what would happen if the roles were reversed, “You love us both so you will marry us both, because you’re special and deserve to have everything you want. Everything! But I don’t deserve to have what I want, what I’ve suffered for.”  (218)

I would have liked to have heard a little more about Eli’s side of the story. What did he think about his arranged marriage? Did he ever truly love Afi? How strong was that love when he clearly showed a stronger preference for Muna? What about Afi did he love, and what was it about Muna that made her his first choice? Was the connection between him and Afi all physical?

I think the ending felt a little rushed. Once Afi makes the decision to leave Eli, the story rushes towards its conclusion, and I wish it had taken a lot more time savoring the consequences of that decision. How does it feel to leave someone you still love? How does Eli truly feel about Afia’s choice? If he had truly ever loved her, like he claimed he did, he seems to have given up rather easily.

I enjoyed His Only Wife. A modern marriage is a constant negotiation between the two partners. It is even harder to navigate when one’s affections are divided. Sometimes, a woman must make the choice to save herself.

Main Themes

The Role of Marriage

• “Afi, don’t forget who you are. You are not an actress and this is not a romance film. This is not one of those telenovelas you and Mawusi have been watching. This is real life. This is our life. You will get to know him and like him. That is how it is. If you don’t believe me you can go and ask any married woman you know. Ask any woman if she loved her husband before she got married, or even if she loves him now.” pg. 27

Gender Roles

• “I did everything you told me to do, everything that you and Aunty told me to do. I cooked, and cleaned, and smiled, and spread my legs as wide as I could, but he still left!” pg. 133

Gratitude/Reciprocity

• “It is not right for you to come here and behave like this. To behave as if my son is some type of beast that has bitten you. Elikem has not done anything to you; how many men will do for you all that my son has done for you? How many? I have spoken to him and he’s willing to take you back, because of the child, so go home.” pg. 155

Male Privilege

• “You love us both so you will marry us both, because you’re special and deserve to have everything you want. Everything! But I don’t deserve to have what I want, what I’ve suffered for.” pg. 218

Love

• It was only then that I realized that I was crying. I had never felt so alone and small as I did at that moment. I wished I knew how to turn things around. It hit me then that I was hopelessly in love with him, that more than anything, I wanted to be by his side. Not because of his mother, or mine, but because of how I felt when he looked at me, when he said my name, when he held me close. At that moment, I wished more than anything that I hadn’t fallen in love with him, that I didn’t love him. pg. 134

Poverty and Social Inequality

• Just a few weeks before, we had been in the middle class but now poverty was aggressively nipping at our heels. No one could have predicted this! pg. 19

Fairy Tales & Telenovelas

• My story—the marriage of a poor girl to a rich man whom she barely knew—was better than any telenovela or romance novel. pg. 30

Top Quotes

• Elikem married me in absentia; he did not come to our wedding. pg. 2
• “All men are the same, they only know how to love themselves and to sit on women,”. pg. 25
• “Afi, don’t forget who you are. You are not an actress and this is not a romance film. This is not one of those telenovelas you and Mawusi have been watching. This is real life. This is our life. You will get to know him and like him. That is how it is. If you don’t believe me you can go and ask any married woman you know. Ask any woman if she loved her husband before she got married, or even if she loves him now.” pg. 27
• “That is the life of a wife, especially a wife of a man like Eli,” …. “If not that woman, there will be another one sniffing around, trying to steal what is yours, and you cannot sit down and let that happen. You have to learn to fight for your husband, never let your guard down. pg. 101

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