Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius  (Translated by Gregory Hays)

Publisher: Random House 

ISBN-13 : 978-0812968255

Buy: Meditations on Amazon

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[A note: I first read Meditations in February 2014, and made private notes. I’m making these private notes public in May 2021.]

Introduction

Marcus Aurelius was the Emperor of the Roman Empire from 161 to 180 AD. He was also a major Stoic philosopher, primarily due to Meditations. Interestingly, Marcus Aurelius likely never meant Meditations to be made public. Every evening, he would sit down and reflect on his day by writing in his private diary. These private notes were collected into Meditations, and were intended as private notes to himself on how to be more virtuous, more just, and a wise ruler at a time when Marcus Aurelius was essentially the most powerful man in the western world.

Summary

Meditations is a collection of spiritual, ethical, and philosophical reflections. It is grounded in Stoicism, a practical philosophy that originated from ancient Greece and Rome in the early parts of the 3rd century, BC. Stoicism encourages us to gain self-mastery over our thoughts and actions in an unpredictable world. It teaches that while we cannot exert control over external events, we are able, to a certain extent, to exert control over our own mind, and choose how we respond to these events. Meditations offers practical advice on how to live virtuously, wisely and ethically.

I recommend Meditations for everyone but especially for those who seek peace, meaning, and to gain the ability to take more effective action in a volatile world. Overall this is a great book, and its concepts have helped me to make valuable changes in my own life: to seek to cull irrelevant distractions (like cable news, for instance), to focus on what’s meaningful to me and within my circle of influence, and to remember that life is short and shouldn’t be wasted.

3 Main Ideas

1. Pay little attention to things that are beyond your control and focus on your own will and perception, things that are within your locus of control. You must not let yourself be distracted by meaningless or inessential things that are out of your control. Rather, focus on those things that you can control, let go of everything else, and turn every obstacle or challenge into an opportunity to improve.
2. Our minds give us the power of perception. We have the ability to choose how we respond to events or circumstances, and we always have the opportunity to practice virtue and integrity. If we practice this frequently, over time, we will be able to control our thoughts and actions, and reduce the impact of bad circumstances or misfortune on us. We can choose to respond positively to misfortune, obstacles, or challenges and realize they may contain valuable lessons or opportunities for growth and self development.
3. Life is short. Once you realize that the present is all you have, you need to make sure that whatever you do is full of meaning and purpose. It is important to keep the fact of our own death in mind. Not to be morbid, or fearful, but to remind ourselves that our time on earth is temporary, and we need to find meaning, purpose, and value within our limited time. Understanding that life is short can provide us with some of the most significant forms of meaning and understanding. We all have some sort of purpose. And, one of the highest ideals is to add value and serve others; to make valuable contributions to others in the short expanse of our lives. We must stay true to that purpose, not waste time, and do what we were designed to do.

5 Key Takeaways

1. Meditations forms the basis for both a philosophical set of reflections and practical set of actions. It is the private diary of the most powerful man in the world, struggling to balance unlimited power with remaining true to his inner virtue, character, and ideals. How does one act as a good person, in the face of almost unlimited power? Similarly, how should regular people act in the face of obstacles, challenges, and misfortune? Meditations is meant to inspire reflection and thought, and to form the foundation for the ways in which one should think or behave. It is intended to provide inspiration and direction in the ways in which one should conduct oneself and respond to external events.
2. You have power over your mind – not external events. While you cannot control external or outside events, you do retain the power of perception. You can choose how you react to those external events. Bad things may happen to you, but you have the power to choose your response to those things.
3. Having power over your mind also enables us to be mindful. Mindfulness requires that we give our full attention to whatever we are doing. We should always strive to be fully present in our current action or activity, and try not to be distracted by irrelevant external or internal factors. You should treat important things as if they were the last thing you would ever do in your life, and treat those things with the seriousness, focus, and sense of purpose that they deserve.
4. While life is short, death is not something to be feared. Dying is part of the cycle of life, same as being born. Rather, death should should serve as an reminder of the shortness of life, and as an inspiration to work to achieve the purpose for which you were designed.
5. The obstacle is the way. No one’s life is smooth, or easy, or always perfect. We will all face obstacles, hardships, difficulties, and challenges during our lives. But these very challenges are what give texture and value to a life. It is your response to hardship and difficulty that determine what kind of person you become. Without challenges, how will you know your true strength? So you must understand that the obstacles and difficulties in your life have made you the person you have become. Be grateful for those obstacles. The obstacle becomes the path. The obstacle is the way.

Top Quotes

• Do external things distract you? Then make time for yourself to learn something worthwhile; stop letting yourself be pulled in all directions.” (Meditations 2.7)
• “If you seek tranquillity, do less.” Or (more accurately) do what’s essential—what the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, “Is this necessary?” (Meditations 4.24)
• “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” (Meditations 2.11)
• “The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” (Meditations 5.16)
• “The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” (Meditations 5.20)
• “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” (Meditations 12.4)
• And if, when it’s time to depart, you shunt everything aside except your mind and the divinity within … if it isn’t ceasing to live that you’re afraid of but never beginning to live properly … then you’ll be worthy of the world that made you.” (Meditations 5.3)

Key Concepts

On Self-Control

Aurelius argues that while the external world can be chaotic, our inner world is where we hold the real power. It’s about not letting your mind be a “slave” to impulses or getting worked up by things outside your grasp. 

Think of it like this: you can’t stop the waves from crashing, but you can choose to be the unmoving rock. It’s a constant practice of reining in those knee-jerk reactions and consciously guiding your present towards virtue and reason. Ultimately, it’s about finding a kind of inner freedom by mastering your responses.

• “Stop allowing your mind to be a slave, to be jerked about by selfish impulses, to kick against fate and the present, and to mistrust the future.” (Meditations 2.2)
• “To be like the rock that the waves keep crashing over. It stands unmoved and the raging of the sea falls still around it.” (Meditations 4.49)
• “Everything you’re trying to reach—by taking the long way round—you could have right now, this moment. If you’d only stop thwarting your own attempts. If you’d only let go of the past, entrust the future to Providence, and guide the present toward reverence and justice.” (Meditations 12.1)

On Focus

Aurelius emphasizes the importance of directing your attention to what’s within your control – primarily your own thoughts and actions – and consciously culling those irrelevant distractions that constantly pull us in different directions. It’s about being mindful and fully present in whatever you’re doing, treating each important task with the seriousness and focus it deserves, almost as if it were the last thing you’d ever do. 

Think of it as optimizing your mental bandwidth by deliberately shutting down those noisy background processes – the unnecessary thoughts and external clamor – so you can really lock in on what truly matters and what you can actually influence. It’s about recognizing that our minds are easily led astray, and actively choosing to tether them to the present moment and our chosen purpose

• “Concentrate every minute like a Roman—like a man—on doing what’s in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice. And on freeing yourself from all other distractions. Yes, you can—if you do everything as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life, and stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you, stop being hypocritical, self-centered, irritable.” (Meditations 2.5)
• “Do external things distract you? Then make time for yourself to learn something worthwhile; stop letting yourself be pulled in all directions.” (Meditations 2.7)
• “Nothing is more pathetic than people who run around in circles, ‘delving into the things that lie beneath’ and conducting investigations into the souls of the people around them, never realizing that all you have to do is to be attentive to the power inside you and worship it sincerely.” (Meditations 2.13)
• “Don’t give the small things more time than they deserve.” (Meditations 4.32)
• “If you seek tranquillity, do less.” Or (more accurately) do what’s essential—what the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, “Is this necessary?” (Meditations 4.24)
• “You need to avoid certain things in your train of thought: everything random, everything irrelevant. And certainly everything self-important or malicious.” (Meditations 3.4)

On Having Realistic Expectations

Aurelius suggests we should prepare ourselves for the inevitable imperfections of the world and the people in it. He even gives this almost humorous example of telling yourself in the morning that you’ll likely encounter meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly people. It sounds cynical, but it’s more about grounding yourself in reality so you’re not constantly thrown off by how things actually are versus how you wish they were. 

It’s like the carpenter expecting sawdust in his workshop; it’s just part of the process. It’s not about being pessimistic, but rather about understanding the nature of things so you can respond with more wisdom and less frustration.

• “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me.” (Meditations 2.1)
• “The cucumber is bitter? Then throw it out. There are brambles in the path? Then go around them. That’s all you need to know. Nothing more. Don’t demand to know “why such things exist.” Anyone who understands the world will laugh at you, just as a carpenter would if you seemed shocked at finding sawdust in his workshop, or a shoemaker at scraps of leather left over from work.” (Meditations 8.50)
• “So this is how a thoughtful person should await death: not with indifference, not with impatience, not with disdain, but simply viewing it as one of the things that happen to us. Now you anticipate the child’s emergence from its mother’s womb; that’s how you should await the hour when your soul will emerge from its compartment.” (Meditations 9.3)

On the Shortness of Time/Mortality

Aurelius is constantly reminding himself – and by extension, us – that you could leave life right now. It’s not meant to be morbid, but rather a powerful way to determine what you do, say, and think in the present. He argues that the present is all we ever truly possess; the past is gone, and the future hasn’t happened yet. So, it’s crucial not to waste our limited time on meaningless or inessential things. 

Aurelius suggests we should approach life with a sense of urgency and purpose, always keeping in mind that our time is finite and we need to find meaning and value within it. He suggests considering death not with fear, but as a natural part of life, like a child being born, as a way to appreciate the preciousness of our current existence.

• “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” (Meditations 2.11)
• “You cannot lose another life than the one you’re living now, or live another one than the one you’re losing.” (Meditations 2.14)
• “You can’t lose either the past or the future; how could you lose what you don’t have?” (Meditations 2.14)
• “Suppose that a god announced that you were going to die tomorrow ‘or the day after.’ Unless you were a complete coward you wouldn’t kick up a fuss about which day it was—what difference could it make? Now recognize that the difference between years from now and tomorrow is just as small.” (Meditations 4.47)
• “At some point you have to recognize what world it is that you belong to; what power rules it and from what source you spring; that there is a limit to the time assigned you, and if you don’t use it to free yourself it will be gone and will never return.” (Meditations 2.4)
• “Forget everything else. Keep hold of this alone and remember it: Each of us lives only now, this brief instant. The rest has been lived already, or is impossible to see.” (Meditations 3.10)
• “In short, know this: Human lives are brief and trivial. Yesterday a blob of semen; tomorrow embalming fluid, ash. To pass through this brief life as nature demands. To give it up without complaint. Like an olive that ripens and falls. Praising its mother, thanking the tree it grew on.” Meditations, 4-48
• “The present is all that they can give up, since that is all you have, and what you do not have, you cannot lose.” (Meditations 12.26)

On Change

Aurelius says the world itself is in constant flux. He emphasizes that everything is passing away, like a river constantly flowing. Because of this inherent changeability, he suggests we should focus on our ability to perceive and respond to these shifts. 

Aurelius talks about how the mind can adapt and find its own purpose within obstacles, seeing impediments as something that can advance action. It’s about recognizing that nothing stays the same and that our power lies in how we navigate this ever-changing landscape, accepting events with a kind of rational humility.

• “The world is nothing but change. Our life is only perception.” (Meditations 4.3)
• “Keep in mind how fast things pass by and are gone—those that are now, and those to come. Existence flows past us like a river: the “what” is in constant flux, the “why” has a thousand variations. Nothing is stable, not even what’s right here. The infinity of past and future gapes before us—a chasm whose depths we cannot see.” (Meditations 4.43)
• “Some things are rushing into existence, others out of it. Some of what now exists is already gone. Change and flux constantly remake the world, just as the incessant progression of time remakes eternity.” Meditations, 6-15

On Purpose

Aurelius argues that people who work hard but lack a guiding purpose are just wasting their time. He pushes you to think about what you were designed for as a human being. It’s not about chasing external validation. 

Instead, he suggests that our core purpose lies in doing what we were made to do, which inherently involves helping others and contributing value. He uses the analogy of waking up and realizing you have a “job” as a human, just like plants and animals have their tasks in the world. 

So, it’s about identifying that fundamental drive to contribute and align your actions and thoughts towards that, otherwise, you’re just spinning your wheels, no matter how busy you are.

• “People who labor all their lives but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward are wasting their time—even when hard at work.” (Meditations 2.7)
• “So we throw out other people’s recognition. What’s left for us to prize? I think it’s this: to do (and not do) what we were designed for.” (Meditations 6.16)
• “At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: “I have to go to work— as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for— the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?” —But it’s nicer here.… So you were born to feel “nice”? Instead of doing things and experiencing them? Don’t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order, as best they can? And you’re not willing to do your job as a human being? Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands? —But we have to sleep sometime.… Agreed. But nature set a limit on that— as it did on eating and drinking. And you’re over the limit. You’ve had more than enough of that. But not of working. There you’re still below your quota.” (Meditations 5.1)
• “Whereas humans were made to help others. And when we do help others—or help them to do something—we’re doing what we were designed for. We perform our function.” (Meditations 8.23)

On Virtue and Integrity

Aurelius boils virtue and integrity down to the idea that nothing is truly good except what leads to fairness, self-control, courage, and free will, and nothing bad except the opposite. In essence, he’s providing a checklist of fundamental principles to live by. 

He even lists out specific virtues to practice, like honesty, gravity, endurance, austerity, resignation, abstinence, patience, sincerity, moderation, seriousness, and high-mindedness, and then asks, “Don’t you see how much you have to offer—beyond excuses like ‘can’t’? And yet you still settle for less”. It’s about actively choosing to embody these qualities and understanding that they are the real markers of a good life, not external rewards or avoiding discomfort.

• “Never regard something as doing you good if it makes you betray a trust, or lose your sense of shame, or makes you show hatred, suspicion, ill will, or hypocrisy, or a desire for things best done behind closed doors.” (Meditations 3.7)
• “Those to do with good and evil. That nothing is good except what leads to fairness, and self-control, and courage, and free will. And nothing bad except what does the opposite.” (Meditations 8.1)
• “Practice the virtues you can show: honesty, gravity, endurance, austerity, resignation, abstinence, patience, sincerity, moderation, seriousness, high-mindedness. Don’t you see how much you have to offer—beyond excuses like “can’t”? And yet you still settle for less.” (Meditations 5.5)

On Happiness

Aurelius suggests that true happiness isn’t about external stuff like popularity or fleeting pleasures, because those are always dependent on things outside your control. Instead, he emphasizes finding fulfillment in doing your work with virtue and integrity – being principled, diligent, energetic, and patient. 

It’s about keeping your inner self untroubled and finding satisfaction in the present moment, aligning with your nature. He points out that you don’t need a ton to be happy and that even if you’ve given up on some big dreams, you can still find happiness in things like freedom, humility, serving others, and a sense of duty. 

Ultimately, for Aurelius, the happiness of the wise comes from their own free actions, from living in accordance with virtue. It’s a pretty self-contained kind of happiness.

• “If you do [a] job in a principled way, with diligence, energy and patience, if you keep yourself free of distractions, and keep the spirit inside you undamaged, as if you might have to give it back at any moment— If you can embrace this without fear or expectation—can find fulfilment in what you’re doing now, as Nature intended, and in superhuman truthfulness (every word, every utterance)—then your life will be happy. No one can prevent that.” (Meditations 3.12)
• “You don’t need much to live happily. And just because you’ve abandoned your hopes of becoming a great thinker or scientist, don’t give up on attaining freedom, achieving humility, serving others, obeying God.” (Meditations 7.67)
• “The happiness of those who want to be popular depends on others; the happiness of those who seek pleasure fluctuates with moods outside their control; but the happiness of the wise grows out of their own free acts.” (Meditations 7.55)

On Seeking Better Inputs

Your brain is basically a filter, and you need to be careful about what you let through. You need to be mindful of the thoughts, ideas, or actions that you allow into your life because what you let in is what you become. This is even more important in our information age today. We are just drowning in information these days. You open your phone and BAM! News alerts, social media updates, endless articles, funny cat videos – it’s a constant barrage. 

Every notification ping, every doom-scrolling session, every rage-inducing headline is literally rewiring your neural pathways. Think about it – if you spend three hours a day on TikTok versus reading books, those are completely different mental diets! 

I stopped watching cable news years ago because I noticed how anxious I got after consuming too much news. I’ve also strongly limited my time on social media, especially Twitter. If you spend hours scrolling through negativity on Twitter, that’s probably going to affect your mood and how you see the world. It’s like mentally eating junk food all the time.

Marcus Aurelius says, “The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” It’s the GIGO principle — “garbage in, garbage out” —  but for your brain. 

What you constantly feed your mind, whether it’s insightful documentaries or books or endless political or reality TV drama, really shapes what you become and the quality of your inner life.  You have to be deliberate about what you consume mentally – it’s probably the most important diet you’ll ever manage!

• “The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” (Meditations 5.16)

On Anxiety

Reel in runaway thoughts and focus on the present, tangible issue instead of getting overwhelmed by a cascade of hypothetical disasters. Don’t try to solve every single problem at once; focus on a specific problem and try to solve it. 

Aurelius recommends that we bring our problems down to a manageable scale and question their actual severity. Don’t let your mind get carried away by worst-case scenarios.

• “Don’t let your imagination be crushed by life as a whole. Don’t try to picture everything bad that could possibly happen. Stick with the situation at hand, and ask, ‘Why is this so unbearable? Why can’t I endure it?’ You’ll be embarrassed to answer.” (Meditations 8.36)
• “Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions—not outside.” (Meditations, 9-13)

On Anger

Aurelius says “there’s nothing manly about rage. It’s courtesy and kindness that define a human being—and a man. That’s who possesses strength and nerves and guts, not the angry whiners”. He dismisses anger as a sign of weakness, not strength. 

He argues that true strength lies in courtesy and kindness, and that controlling your temper is actually the more powerful and human thing to do. So, rather than flying off the handle, the Stoic approach, according to Aurelius, is to embody those more composed and virtuous qualities.

• “When you start to lose your temper, remember: There’s nothing manly about rage. It’s courtesy and kindness that define a human being—and a man. That’s who possesses strength and nerves and guts, not the angry whiners.” (Meditations 11.18)

On Perception

Perception is how you understand the world around you using your senses, organizing, identifying, and interpreting sensory information. Aurelius argues that the world itself is just constant change, and our life is purely how we perceive it. In essence, reality is subjective. He even says, “Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been”. That’s pretty radical. He emphasizes that external things aren’t the problem; it’s our assessment of them, which we can actually erase in the moment. 

Something happens, and it’s not inherently good or bad. It’s how we interpret it that gives it its sting or its benefit. He even suggests we should “see not what your enemy sees and hopes that you will, but what’s really there”.

We must try to get to an objective understanding, stripping away our emotional reactions and preconceived notions. We need to tune our senses to get a clearer signal, filtering out the noise of our own biases.

• “The world is nothing but change. Our life is only perception.” (Meditations 4.3)
• “Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” (Meditations 4.7)
• “See not what your enemy sees and hopes that you will, but what’s really there.” (Meditations 6.59)
• “What happens to everyone—bad and good alike—is neither good nor bad.” (Meditations 6.41)
• “Every event is the right one. Look closely and you’ll see.” (Meditations 4.10)
• “Pain is neither unbearable nor unending, as long as you keep in mind its limits and don’t magnify them in your imagination.” (Meditations 7.64)
• “It doesn’t hurt me unless I interpret its happening as harmful to me. I can choose not to.” (Meditations 4.8)
• “External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now.” (Meditations 8.47)
• “The existence of evil does not harm the world. And an individual act of evil does not harm the victim. Only one person is harmed by it—and he can stop being harmed as soon as he decides to.” (Meditations 8.55)
• “Let them scream whatever they want. Let animals dismember this soft flesh that covers you. How would any of that stop you from keeping your mind calm—reliably sizing up what’s around you—and ready to make good use of whatever happens? So that Judgment can look the event in the eye and say, ‘This is what you really are, regardless of what you may look like.’” (Meditations, 7-68)

On Fortune/Misfortune

Aurelius contends that external events, good or bad, are inherently neutral. Our reaction is what truly matters. It’s not the external event itself, but our reaction to it that matters. He argues it’s fortunate to remain unharmed by adversity, not because the event was unique, but because our response was. True fortune, he says, lies in our character, intentions, and actions. Thus, our perception and virtuous response to “misfortune” can become a form of “good fortune,” as “the obstacle becomes the path,” highlighting that challenges can foster growth.

In essence, Meditations suggests that our perception and virtuous response to external events, rather than the events themselves, determine our well-being. Challenges, often viewed as misfortune, can become opportunities for growth and self-development – “what stands in the way becomes the way.”

• “It’s unfortunate that this has happened. No. It’s fortunate that this has happened and I’ve remained unharmed by it—not shattered by the present or frightened of the future. It could have happened to anyone. But not everyone could have remained unharmed by it. Why treat the one as a misfortune rather than the other as fortunate? Can you really call something a misfortune that doesn’t violate human nature? Or do you think something that’s not against nature’s will can violate it? But you know what its will is. Does what’s happened keep you from acting with justice, generosity, self-control, sanity, prudence, honesty, humility, straightforwardness, and all the other qualities that allow a person’s nature to fulfill itself? So remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.” (Meditations 4.49a)
• “True good fortune is what you make for yourself. Good fortune: good character, good intentions, and good actions.” (Meditations 5.37)

On Obstacles or Challenges

Aurelius provides a powerful perspective on difficulties, suggesting that they are not merely hindrances but can actually become the means for progress.

One of the central ideas of Meditations is to reframe obstacles as opportunities. Nearly every problem or challenge has the potential to be a valuable learning or teaching tool or opportunity for growth. How you react to problems dictates your character and reframing them enables you to persist and persevere.

Aurelius emphasizes the importance of challenges in shaping who we are. No one’s life is smooth, and we will all face hardships. However, it is your response to hardship and difficulty that determines what kind of person you become. Without challenges, you wouldn’t know your true strength. Therefore, you should be grateful for these obstacles, as they have made you the person you are.

A key takeaway is the concept that “the obstacle is the way”.  The very thing that stands in your way can be used as a path forward. The mind has the remarkable ability to adapt and convert obstacles to its own purposes, allowing impediments to action to actually advance action. Instead of being defeated by an obstacle, if you accept it and work with what you are given, an alternative will present itself, contributing to what you are trying to achieve.

In essence, Meditations encourages a mindset where challenges are not viewed as purely negative but as integral parts of life that offer opportunities for learning, growth, and the development of character. By reframing our perception of obstacles and understanding their potential, we can navigate them more effectively and even find that they lead us toward our goals.

• “The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” (Meditations 5.20)
• “But if you accept the obstacle and work with what you’re given, an alternative will present itself – another piece of what you’re trying to assemble. Action by action.” (Meditations 9.2)

On Control

Aurelius asks “If [an outcome] is in your control, why do you do it? If it’s in someone else’s, then who are you blaming? Atoms? The gods? Stupid either way”. This emphasizes the Stoic principle of focusing on what is within your power and not wasting energy on what isn’t.

Stoicism emphasizes self-mastery over thoughts and actions in an unpredictable world. While external events are uncontrollable, we can control our minds and responses. A core tenet is to focus on our internal will and perception, rather than external factors beyond our control.

Aurelius implies that our control lies in our interpretation and response to events, rather than the events themselves. We need to strengthen our mental resilience and accept that not everything will go according to our desires or expectations.

In essence, the theme of control revolves around recognizing the limits of our influence on the external world and focusing our efforts on mastering our own thoughts, perceptions, and actions. This internal control is the key to living virtuously and finding peace in an unpredictable world.

• “If the gods have made decisions about me and the things that happen to me, then they were good decisions. Why would they expend their energies on causing me harm? What good would it do them—or the world, which is their primary concern?” (Meditations 6.44)
• “If [an outcome] is in your control, why do you do it? If it’s in someone else’s, then who are you blaming? Atoms? The gods? Stupid either way.” (Meditations 8.17)
• “So too a healthy mind should be prepared for anything. The one that keeps saying, “Are my children all right?” or “Everyone must approve of me” is like eyes that can only stand pale colors, or teeth that can handle only mush.” (Meditations 10.35)

On the Qualities of Others

According to Aurelius, when you need encouragement, you should “think of the qualities the people around you have: this one’s energy, that one’s modesty, another’s generosity, and so on”. He emphasizes that “nothing is as encouraging as when virtues are visibly embodied in the people around us, when we’re practically showered with them. It’s good to keep this in mind”.

Aurelius believes in actively observing and appreciating the positive attributes of those around you as a source of inspiration and motivation. Instead of focusing on the negative or being discouraged by others’ flaws, one should deliberately look for and acknowledge their virtues like energy, modesty, and generosity. The very presence of these qualities in others can be uplifting and serve as a reminder of what is possible and valuable.

Just as we can choose how we interpret external events, we can also choose what aspects of other people we focus on. By actively seeking out and appreciating their positive qualities, we cultivate a more constructive and encouraging perspective.

When facing difficulties, remembering the strengths and virtues present in the people around you could provide the encouragement and support needed to persevere. Seeing how others embody positive qualities might inspire you to cultivate those qualities within yourself to overcome your own challenges.

By observing and appreciating virtue in others, we are more likely to recognize and value these qualities in general, which can in turn motivate us to live more virtuously ourselves.

It’s important to actively recognize and appreciate the virtues of the people around us as a tool for encouragement and a reminder of positive human potential.

• When you need encouragement, think of the qualities the people around you have: this one’s energy, that one’s modesty, another’s generosity, and so on. Nothing is as encouraging as when virtues are visibly embodied in the people around us, when we’re practically showered with them. It’s good to keep this in mind.” (Meditations 6.48)

On Fame/Societal Approval

Aurelius views fame and societal approval as minor concerns that distract from a virtuous life. He asks, “what remains to be prized when ‘we throw out other people’s recognition’?” His answer: “to do (and not do) what we were designed for.”   True fulfillment comes from aligning with one’s inherent nature and contributing meaningfully, rather than chasing fleeting external praise.

He advises against being too concerned about others’ opinions or actions, as it “will keep you from doing anything useful…from focusing on your own mind.” 

Aurelius states, “The happiness of those who want to be popular depends on others,” contrasting this with the wise whose happiness “grows out of their own free acts.” In essence, Meditations suggests that seeking external validation hinders inner purpose and true happiness, emphasizing self-awareness, inner control, living in accordance with one’s nature and reason, and virtuous action instead.

• “Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful. You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.” (Meditations 3.4)
• Is it your reputation that’s bothering you? But look at how soon we’re all forgotten. The abyss of endless time that swallows it all. The emptiness of all those applauding hands. The people who praise us—how capricious they are, how arbitrary. And the tiny region in which it all takes place. The whole earth a point in space—and most of it uninhabited. (Meditations, 4-3)
• “Don’t let anything deter you: other people’s misbehavior, your own mis-perceptions, What People Will Say, or the feelings of the body that covers you (let the affected part take care of those). And if, when it’s time to depart, you shunt everything aside except your mind and the divinity within … if it isn’t ceasing to live that you’re afraid of but never beginning to live properly … then you’ll be worthy of the world that made you.” (Meditations 5.3)
• “The happiness of those who want to be popular depends on others; the happiness of those who seek pleasure fluctuates with moods outside their control; but the happiness of the wise grows out of their own free acts.” (Meditations 7.55)
• “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” (Meditations 12.4)

On Seeking Help

Aurelius says, “Don’t be ashamed to need help”. He uses this great analogy: “Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?”. We all have our battles, and sometimes we just need a hand to get over the wall.

But there’s some nuance, too. He mentions, “We should listen only to those whose lives conform to nature”. It’s okay to ask for help, but be discerning about who you’re getting advice from. Find guidance from people who are living in a virtuous and reasonable way. So, not just anyone, but someone who’s got their act together. 

So, in essence, it’s fine to need and ask for help; it’s a natural part of getting things done. But, be thoughtful about who you’re seeking that help from, and aim for those who are living in a way that aligns with virtue and reason.

• “Don’t be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?” (Meditations 7.7)
• “We should listen only to those whose lives conform to nature.” (Meditations 3.4)

On Empathy

According to Aurelius, when people injure you, you should “ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it”. Understanding their perspective can lead to sympathy instead of outrage or anger.

Aurelius suggests that our sense of good and evil might be similar to theirs, in which case we should excuse them. Even if our understanding of right and wrong differs, he proposes that they might be “misguided and deserve your compassion”.

Furthermore, Aurelius emphasizes the importance of truly listening and trying to understand others. He explicitly states, “Practice really hearing what people say. Do your best to get inside their minds”. Actively trying to see the world from another person’s viewpoint is a key component of empathy. While you might be the star of your own life, others are the stars of theirs, and to live harmoniously, you need to try to put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand things from their perspective.

Meditations advocates for a proactive approach to empathy, urging us to seek an understanding of others’ motivations and to actively try and see the world through their eyes, which in turn can foster compassion and reduce negative emotions like anger. This aligns with broader Stoic principles such as controlling our reactions and focusing on inner virtue.

• “When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you’ll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger. Your sense of good and evil may be the same as theirs, or near it, in which case you have to excuse them. Or your sense of good and evil may differ from theirs. In which case they’re misguided and deserve your compassion. Is that so hard?” (Meditations 7.26)
• “Practice really hearing what people say. Do your best to get inside their minds.” (Meditations 6.53)

On Gratitude

Aurelius advises us to treat what we lack as non-existent and to focus on appreciating our current possessions, especially what we value most, by considering how much we’d miss them if they were gone. 

However, he cautions against over-attachment to what we have to avoid distress upon loss. He advocates for a balanced gratitude that actively recognizes the positive aspects of our lives, without being overly attached to it.

• “Treat what you don’t have as non-existent. Look at what you have, the things you value most, and think of how much you’d crave them if you didn’t have them. But be careful. Don’t feel such satisfaction that you start to overvalue them—that it would upset you to lose them.” (Meditations 7.27)

On Fortitude and Resilience

Aurelius advises enduring difficulties without unnecessary lamentation, stating, “you can endure anything your mind can make endurable, by treating it as in your interest to do so.” He emphasizes, “the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.” Difficulties can be “the means for progress,” and “the obstacle is the way,” as “the very thing that stands in your way can be used as a path forward.”

In essence, fortitude and resilience are not about avoiding hardship, but about our mental and emotional response to it. It involves:

• Recognizing the endurability of situations.
• Harnessing the mind to make things endurable.
• Perceiving endurance and prevailing over adversity as “great good fortune.”
• Reframing obstacles as learning and growth opportunities.
• Understanding that “what stands in the way becomes the way.”

This aligns with broader Stoic philosophy, which emphasizes our ability to control our inner responses to external events. By cultivating this inner strength and adopting a resilient mindset, we can navigate the inevitable difficulties of life with greater fortitude. The only way out is through.

• “Everything that happens is either endurable or not. If it’s endurable, then endure it. Stop complaining. If it’s unendurable … then stop complaining. Your destruction will mean its end as well. Just remember: you can endure anything your mind can make endurable, by treating it as in your interest to do so. In your interest, or in your nature.” (Meditations 10.3)
• “Remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.” (Meditations 4.49a)

On Self-Awareness

Self-awareness involves recognizing flaws, taking responsibility for our actions and inner state, and aligning our behavior with our better judgment. Aurelius emphasizes understanding our place: “Don’t ever forget these things: The nature of the world. My nature. How I relate to the world. What proportion of it I make up.” This involves understanding our nature and acting in harmony with the world. Self-awareness underpins self-control, focus, integrity, and virtue.

In summary, it’s a deep understanding of our character, our relationship with the world, and aligning actions with our nature, requiring recognition of shortcomings and self-improvement.

• “If the problem is something in your own character, who’s stopping you from setting your mind straight? And if it’s that you’re not doing something you think you should be, why not just do it?” (Meditations 5.5)
• “Don’t ever forget these things: The nature of the world. My nature. How I relate to the world. What proportion of it I make up. That you are part of nature, and no one can prevent you from speaking and acting in harmony with it, always.” (Meditations 2.9)

On Effort

Aurelius advises effort but acknowledges external influence, so we shouldn’t berate ourselves for impossible outcomes. He states, “Aiming to do what, then? To try. And you succeeded. What you set out to do is accomplished.” 

 We have direct control over our intentions and our efforts, but we do not have the same level of control over external events. Stoicism values the effort itself as success, focusing on our controllable intentions rather than uncontrollable external results. This manages expectations, reduces frustration, and fosters resilience by valuing the present act of trying.

 It shifts the focus from a potentially uncontrollable future outcome to the present moment and the actions we can take now.

• “Remember that our efforts are subject to circumstances; you weren’t aiming to do the impossible. Aiming to do what, then? To try. And you succeeded. What you set out to do is accomplished.” (Meditations 5.12)

On Rationality

Rationality is key for spiritual growth, enabling logical analysis. We must carefully approach thoughts, preventing irrationality. Its characteristics include a deep understanding of oneself (self-perception), a continuous evaluation of one’s thoughts and actions (self-examination), and the ability to consciously shape one’s inner state through reason (self-determination).

Aurelius advocates for objective judgment, unselfish action, and acceptance of all external events in the present moment. While acknowledging that physical sensations are natural, the mind should govern emotions without immediate judgment of sensations as “good” or “bad.”

In summary, rationality involves:

• Logical and accurate analysis of events.
• Careful consideration of thoughts.
• Self-awareness and continuous self-examination.
• Objective judgment and reasoned action.
• Mindful emotion management and impulse control.

Cultivating rationality fosters clarity, virtuous choices, and spiritual growth

• “Nothing is so conducive to spiritual growth as this capacity for logical and accurate analysis of everything that happens to us.” (Meditations 3.11)
• “Everywhere, at each moment, you have the option: to accept this event with humility to treat this person as he should be treated to approach this thought with care, so that nothing irrational creeps in.” (Meditations 7.54)
• “Characteristics of the rational soul: Self-perception, self-examination, and the power to make of itself whatever it wants.” (Meditations 11.1)
• “Objective judgment, now, at this very moment. Unselfish action, now, at this very moment. Willing acceptance— now, at this very moment— of all external events. That’s all you need.” (Meditations 9.6)
• “The mind is the ruler of the soul. It should remain unstirred by agitations of the flesh—gentle and violent ones alike. Not mingling with them, but fencing itself off and keeping those feelings in their place. When they make their way into your thoughts, through the sympathetic link between mind and body, don’t try to resist the sensation. The sensation is natural. But don’t let the mind start in with judgments, calling it ‘good’ or ‘bad.’’’ (Meditations, 5-26)

On Inner Peace

Aurelius argues that inner peace is an internal state, more accessible within “your own soul” than anywhere else. It can be found with “an instant’s recollection,” bringing “complete tranquillity…a kind of harmony.” Unlike futile external escapes, “you can get away from it anytime you like. By going within.” Inner peace comes from the soul choosing to remain unaffected by external pain, as “no evil can touch” our inner decisions.  

This highlights the Stoic idea that external changes do not necessarily lead to inner peace if the internal state remains troubled. Wherever you go, there you are! Self-control, focusing inward, realistic expectations, and resilience are key. A healthy mind is “prepared for anything.”

In summary, inner peace is an internal state cultivated through introspection and the cultivation of a mind that is not controlled by external events or irrational thoughts. It is fostered by self-control, focus, realistic expectations, and a resilient attitude towards the inevitable challenges of life.

• People try to get away from it all—to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like. By going within. Nowhere you can go is more peaceful—more free of interruptions—than your own soul. Meditations, 4-3
• “Nowhere you can go is more peaceful—more free of interruptions—than your own soul. Especially if you have other things to rely on. An instant’s recollection and there it is: complete tranquillity. And by tranquillity I mean a kind of harmony.” (Meditations 4.3)
• “Either pain affects the body (which is the body’s problem) or it affects the soul. But the soul can choose not to be affected, preserving its own serenity, its own tranquillity. All our decisions, urges, desires, aversions lie within. No evil can touch them.” (Meditations 8.28)

On Taking Responsibility

Aurelius advises, “Blame no one. Set people straight, if you can. If not, just repair the damage.” He adds, “If they’ve made a mistake, correct them gently… If you can’t do that, then the blame lies with you. Or no one.” This emphasizes a proactive and solution-oriented approach to dealing with mistakes and issues over blame, aligning with self-control and focusing on our power to act.  Instead of assigning blame, the focus should be on either correcting the error or correcting its consequences.

Taking responsibility implies acknowledging your sphere of influence and acting within it to address problems, rather than dwelling on external factors or the actions of others.

Aurelius asks, “If the problem is something in your own character, who’s stopping you from setting your mind straight? And if it’s that you’re not doing something you think you should be, why not just do it?” This highlights the personal responsibility we have for our own thoughts, actions, and character development.

In essence, responsibility involves:

• Avoiding blame, and focusing on solutions.
• Gently correcting others, if possible.
• Avoiding unproductive blame if correction fails.
• Focusing on self-correction.
• Acting to repair damage within our sphere of influence.

Aurelius presents responsibility as proactive problem-solving and self-improvement for a virtuous life.

• “Blame no one. Set people straight, if you can. If not, just repair the damage.” (Meditations 9.20)
• “If they’ve made a mistake, correct them gently and show them where they went wrong. If you can’t do that, then the blame lies with you. Or no one.” (Meditations 10.4)

Action Items

• Reframe obstacles as opportunities. Nearly every problem or challenge has the potential to be a valuable learning or teaching tool or opportunity for growth. How you react to problems dictates your character. Similarly, reframing problems as opportunities enables you to persist, to not give up on things at the slightest hint of trouble, but to persevere. The obstacle is the way.
• Practice gratitude. Reflect frequently about for the gift of life, the people around you, and the things that you have or are able to experience. Think about what a miracle it is to be able to experience such gifts
• Seek to understand others more fully. Listen to understand and be fully present in your listening. In your life, you might be the star of your own show, but other people have their own lives in which they are the star. You must try to put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand things from their perspective. Others might have opinions or values that differ from yours, and in order to live harmoniously, you need to try to see things from their perspective. You might not come to an agreement, but you will at least understand each other better.
• Be mindful of distractions that might sideline you from what is important and meaningful to you. If you’re about to embark on an activity, think, “is this (action) necessary?” to the important things you need to accomplish.
• Be mindful of the thoughts, ideas, or actions that you allow into your life. What you let in is what you become. If you let in bad ideas or junk information, that is what you will think about, and what you will become. Try to absorb only the highest quality of thoughts, ideas, and inputs. Your inputs become your outputs.

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